Plain Talking with Clemetine Ford

In her article entitled "Shouting back at Twitter rape threats", Clemetine Ford dropped this little beauty:

"...her efforts were rewarded by a sustained Twitter attack from some of the more repugnant turds excreted by society's sulphurous bottom."

Way to go Clementine!  You tell them!

Full article >> http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/8981403/Shouting-back-at-Twitter-rape-threats

X Factor unveiled by Simon Sweetman

I have a new God of Plain Talking.

His name is Simon Sweetman.  He's written an article on stuff.co.nz that has really laid the X Factor bare.

I love the sort of directness Simon sprinkled liberally through his article.  Some of the gems....

The X-cruciating factor (headline)

...New Zealand's next big pop star is Jackie Thomas. Who? Well, that's right - she'll be working at the checkout counter before too long. 

But are there really any winners? By winning the competition isn't she already set up as the biggest loser...

...a second season is already lined up after all and our idiotic funding body has already gone into bat, giving out our money.

Jackie Thomas will join the names Ben Lummis and Rosita Vai - people who can sing at the local church or RSA and hey, they're better than you and me, sure, but they did no such thing as become a pop star. Their fame wasn't even fleeting - they were paraded around cruelly for another tier of ugliness

Jackie Thomas is a nobody. 

So I couldn't watch it. Not even for the car-crash.

X-Factor is a cruel rort; a nasty ruse and we're all being ripped off by it. 

But now Jackie Thomas will think she's somebody for a day. For a week. For a tour. For an excruciating album with a tacky video and for a handful of promotional appearances at movie theatre malls around the country timed for the school holidays.

And then she'll work at a packhouse or as a cleaner or go on to train to do whatever else in this world.

... wearing The X-Factor crown is worse than meaningless - it's the ultimate sign that you have nothing close to anything resembling an x-factor.

... another sign that NZ On Air is a cruel, nasty joke. A clueless, sac-less vacuity.

 Just another laughing stock in waiting while New Zealand's real talent schleps it out loading its own gear, playing to no one for twice as long and half as much as it should.

The X-Factor should make us all die inside a little. 

X-Factor you are cruel. You are ugly. You are not what I want for this world.

Simon - I salute you.

Full rant >> http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/blogs/blog-on-the-tracks/8952155/The-X-cruciating-factor

Photo caption?

Found this photo and caption in this weeks edition of the Central South Island Farmer newspaper.

According to the caption, Scott Pearson "draws in roadside shingle".  Remarkably accurate, but why not:

 "..utilizes a local, natural resource to render a representation of regional topography in micro scale."

Much better.  Politicians & Management would appreciate the difference I'm sure.

Telling it like it is..

... I hope he rots in hell.

Retired Poughkeepsie Detective Captain Charles Mittelstaedt, about James Nichols on the discovery of the remains of James' missing wife JoAnn Nichols.

(image - Poughkeepsie Police Department)

JoAnn went missing in 1985.

Her body was found behind a false wall inside the family home following the recent death of James.

A forensic report indicates she died from a blow to the skull.

Full story on stuff.co.nz 

Confirming what we already know - Bieber is uncool

Justin Bieber you are probably the un-coolest person I can think of in the universe 

I like this quote from Andrew Porteous over on Stuff (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff-nation/assignments/share-your-news-and-views/8862957/How-Justin-Bieber-ruined-tattoos)

Andrew laments the loss of cool because Bieber treats tattooing as a fad.  Among Biebers other crimes are driving a leopard print car and a Segway.

Tide seems to be turning against the plastic fantastic (as I like to refer to him - the title seems apt now that MJ is gone).  His manufactured persona and the instantly forgettable "songs" irk me to the core.

Andrew signs off the article with this:

For the sake of everyone out there Bieber, stop getting ink. Return tattoos to the realm of the cool, the drunk and the brave.

Amen!

Leak-proof Tampax ad.

With ads like these - who needs boring TV programs?



I like a laugh ~ Alexi Sayle

Did you see the limb come off?  Cool!

Of course Zombies are attracted to blood.  Don't go there....

It's All Right...

The "It's All Right..." message has begun popping up all over Canterbury in a reaction to the emotional turmoil the earthquakes have caused.

 

 

This is a marvelous campaign, which does a lot to help.  The website is kind of cool, and packed with helpful advice.  You can even post your own tip on how you de-stress.  Find the website here: http://www.allright.org.nz/

Yesterday a number of It's All Right cards were delivered to my workplace.  We had a giggle over them and, you guessed it, had to write our own....

It's all Right...

To feel Underpaid.

To Feel Undervalued.

To Feel Overworked.

To Feel Treated like a Mushroom.

To Drink Heavily.

To Weep for No Reason.

To Dream of Running Amok with an Assault Rifle.

Yeah Right!

Weight loss secret revealed!

I don't know why, but this blog is getting a lot of hits from some sort of weight loss website.

I suspect that this is some sort of stupid spam thing, but because I'm a helpful kind of guy I'll give you my absolutely 100% successful tip on losing weight.

Al you need to do to lose weight is:

Eat less and exercise more

Simply really!

All you have to do is keep applying this golden rule and you WILL lose weight.  I'm living proof that this works - I have a BMI of 21 and can run 10km in less than 43 minutes.  Not bad for someone approaching 50.  I eat anything I please because I burn plenty of energy.

Now some stupid things fat people say to me:

1. I've tried all the diets.

You probably have, but you're still fat.  Now try my golden rule.  100% success guaranteed!

2. Have you lost weight?

No I haven't - but you certainly found some!  That's why I look slim beside you.

3. I can't exercise because I'm injured/fat/genetically unable to.

You can and should exercise.  Remember, you're dying faster than everyone who does.

4. I lose weight then put it back on.

You need to permanently change your lifestyle.  Eating is YOUR problem.  Admit it and start a new life today.

5. I can't lose weight.

That's true.  You can't.  That's because you're a glutton or lazy, or both.


Now before you get all miffed at me let me explain that I'm not a fat-ist.  I don't dislike fat people, or any people.  I enjoy the company of many people who are comfortable in their own skin.  What I don't like is whiners. 

Especially whiners who have the power to change in their very own hands.

Plain Talking - May

"Aaron Gilmore is a waste of political space."

~ Patrick Gower, Political Editor 3News

"I knew something was wrong when a pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms."

~ Charles Ramsay, Cleveland rescuer

Aside:  I wonder what the reaction would have been had Charles Ramsay's quote been attributed to a Caucasian?

Obama speech on Gun Control failure

In his speech upon the failure of his gun control reforms, US President Obama let rip:

...But if action by Congress could have saved one person, one child, a few hundred, a few thousand — if it could have prevented those people from losing their lives to gun violence in the future while preserving our Second Amendment rights, we had an obligation to try. 

And this legislation met that test.  And too many senators failed theirs. 

I’ve heard some say that blocking this step would be a victory.  And my question is, a victory for who?  A victory for what?  All that happened today was the preservation of the loophole that lets dangerous criminals buy guns without a background check.  That didn’t make our kids safer.  Victory for not doing something that 90 percent of Americans, 80 percent of Republicans, the vast majority of your constituents wanted to get done?  It begs the question, who are we here to represent? 

I’ve heard folks say that having the families of victims lobby for this legislation was somehow misplaced.  “A prop,” somebody called them.  “Emotional blackmail,” some outlet said.  Are they serious?  Do we really think that thousands of families whose lives have been shattered by gun violence don’t have a right to weigh in on this issue?  Do we think their emotions, their loss is not relevant to this debate? 

So all in all, this was a pretty shameful day for Washington.

In a country obsessed by guns you've got to wonder what it will take before reforms are passed.  Another Waco? Colombine?

Get ready America - the next human tragedy is just around the bend.


Read the full transcript of Obama's speech here: http://swampland.time.com/2013/04/17/president-obamas-speech-on-gun-control-bill-defeat-transcript/#ixzz2QraFKHAk

Arthur Allan Thomas speaks...

"He was a corrupt police officer."

~ Arthur Allan Thomas counters the praise heaped on the late Bruce Hutton
by Deputy Police Commissioner Mike Bush.

Thomas also said

"As the second-highest ranking police officer in New Zealand, it is totally inappropriate for him to commend the actions of a man whose actions not only twice led to my wrongful prosecution, conviction and imprisonment for almost 10 years of my life, but who perverted the course of justice, and committed a number of other serious criminal acts."

You tell him Arthur!  I 100% agree with you.

More >> http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8532112/Arthur-Allan-Thomas-hits-back-at-eulogy

Plain Talking in April

"Pitbulls are the victim of human stupidity"

~ Gina (dog trainer on the TV program "Last Chance Dogs" [Sky/Heartland])

Plain Talking - March

An exchange on National Radio's Afternoon show between Penny Ashton and Steve McCabe:

Steve:  The Pope's a Jesuit!
Penny:  What's a Jesuit?
Steve:  God's riot police.

The full show is available online and downloadable in various formats thanks to the wonderful interactive website of National Radio.  The link below will take you to the relevant page.

http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/20130318

The link to look for is part two of the panel discussion

The Panel with Penny Ashton and Steve McCabe (Part 2)

Topics - Pope Francis has appeared before some 150,000 pilgrims massed in St Peter's Square for his first Angelus prayer and asked the faithful to pray for him. 'Younger Generation Lags Behind Its Parents In Wealth-Building', says the New York Times headline. (26′36″)

St John and the Whale.

I'm not much of a blogger - as this occasional blog will attest.  My brother John is  a blogger.  He crafts interesting and intriguing blog posts numerous times a day.  I don't always agree with him but read his words daily.  You too can read his fine blog here: http://conzervative.wordpress.com/

John is a nice guy.  No really.  He is.  I'm not just saying that because we share the same parents.  He is genuinely interested in people and their views.  So it's a bit of a surprise to me that blogger Cameron Slater aka (beached) Whaleoil has taken such a dislike to him.

Over the last couple of days a flame war has erupted with Cameron doing the mud flinging and John playing the part of the reasoned debater.  You can find the tail end of this flame war here: Vileness in the blogosphere a re-post

Cameron lambastes the CoNZervative blog as being "tumbleweed" and mocks John for having fewer page hits per day.  All grown up eh?

The difference between the two blogs can be explained like this:

CoNZervative posts stuff like a BBC documentary narrated by Sir David Attenborough.  What you get is researched, well presented, articulate and interesting.

WhaleOil posts stuff like a reality TV show.  With cooking, renovating, innuendo and profanity.  It's cheap, mass produced trash for people who can't think for themselves and want a quick thrill.

If you're looking for rubbish to fill your blank mind between episodes of "The Block" or "American Idol" do feel free to go read Cameron Slater's diatribes.

If you want something educational and intelligent, use the link at the top of this post and get switched on to the CoNZervative blog.

It's time to bury the beached Whale.  He's already starting to stink.

Plain Talking - February

A summary of the clearest examples of speech

"I hate you Joel Loffley, your existence disgusts me."

Danielle Ruhe (14/02/2013) in her victim impact statement at the sentencing of Joel Loffley for the murder of his two  year old stepson James Joseph Ruhe Lawrence, known as JJ.

(he didn't give)  "a rat's arse" 

Denis Conner declines to make peace with the dying broadcaster Paul Holmes.  Story: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8228217/A-fight-to-the-death