Plain Talking with Clemetine Ford

In her article entitled "Shouting back at Twitter rape threats", Clemetine Ford dropped this little beauty:

"...her efforts were rewarded by a sustained Twitter attack from some of the more repugnant turds excreted by society's sulphurous bottom."

Way to go Clementine!  You tell them!

Full article >> http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/8981403/Shouting-back-at-Twitter-rape-threats

Me and Banky

I couldn't have foreseen the day when I would hold John Banks up as someone to honor.

(image: www.idealog.co.nz)

Today is that day.  Who would have thought?

You see, John has publicly spoken out against the testing of psychoactive substances (party pills et al) on animals.  Good on you John!

The Psychoactive Substances Bill is currently before a parliamentary committee despite an overwhelming number of Kiwis being against this cruel and inhumane treatment of animals.

If you wouldn't want your child/sibling/relative using these drugs then why allow them to be tested on animals?  Surely a complete ban is the way to move forward?

I can't believe that animal testing is so blithely accepted in New Zealand.

And before you claim that it doesn't happen here, it does.  Have a look at this: http://www.banbeagleexperiments.org.nz/

Ignorance is bliss right?

The good people of New Zealand are up in arms about this bill.  Join us.

Read about the protests on Stuff:  http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8980455/Protest-against-animal-testing

Paint.NET chain link tutorial

Speaking of tutorials.   My mate Welshblue has come up with this beauty: Chain Link tutorial

Once again, Welshblue has proved just why he has been recognized as the King of Paint.NET. I don't think my try at the tutorial does it justice.

Still.  Neat effect eh?  Thanks Welshblue!

Roll out the barrel

New tutorial posted on the Paint.NET forum by Skullbonz.

The tutorial details how to make a barrel.  It's nice and easy, so I made one.  Cool!

Find the tutorial here: forums.getpaint.net/index.php?/topic/26840-make-a-rusty-barrel

Winston Preciousssssss Peters

Dear old John Key has today refused to rule out working with Winston Peters in the next post-election fallout.

Remember, Frodo had to work with Gollum, distasteful as it was, in order to achieve a higher goal.

Beware, John. Winston is more tricksy and less trustworthy that Gollum ever was.  And of course he is his own Preciousssssss...

Saul Jacob Beaumont - scumbag

Saul Jacob Beaumont appeared in the Hamilton District court today, charged with deliberately breaking the tails of 46 cows.  Beaumont acknowledged responsibility for the depraved acts and cited 'anger issues' as some sort of defense.

more >> http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/farming/dairy/8962587/Abhorrent-Man-charged-with-breaking-cows-tails

What a bloody monster.

You would have to fear that this creature is going to have a long and terrible career as a violent criminal.

This sort of offending tells you that he is a danger to all those around him - children especially.

Let's hope he's impotent.

Prince Charming?

X Factor unveiled by Simon Sweetman

I have a new God of Plain Talking.

His name is Simon Sweetman.  He's written an article on stuff.co.nz that has really laid the X Factor bare.

I love the sort of directness Simon sprinkled liberally through his article.  Some of the gems....

The X-cruciating factor (headline)

...New Zealand's next big pop star is Jackie Thomas. Who? Well, that's right - she'll be working at the checkout counter before too long. 

But are there really any winners? By winning the competition isn't she already set up as the biggest loser...

...a second season is already lined up after all and our idiotic funding body has already gone into bat, giving out our money.

Jackie Thomas will join the names Ben Lummis and Rosita Vai - people who can sing at the local church or RSA and hey, they're better than you and me, sure, but they did no such thing as become a pop star. Their fame wasn't even fleeting - they were paraded around cruelly for another tier of ugliness

Jackie Thomas is a nobody. 

So I couldn't watch it. Not even for the car-crash.

X-Factor is a cruel rort; a nasty ruse and we're all being ripped off by it. 

But now Jackie Thomas will think she's somebody for a day. For a week. For a tour. For an excruciating album with a tacky video and for a handful of promotional appearances at movie theatre malls around the country timed for the school holidays.

And then she'll work at a packhouse or as a cleaner or go on to train to do whatever else in this world.

... wearing The X-Factor crown is worse than meaningless - it's the ultimate sign that you have nothing close to anything resembling an x-factor.

... another sign that NZ On Air is a cruel, nasty joke. A clueless, sac-less vacuity.

 Just another laughing stock in waiting while New Zealand's real talent schleps it out loading its own gear, playing to no one for twice as long and half as much as it should.

The X-Factor should make us all die inside a little. 

X-Factor you are cruel. You are ugly. You are not what I want for this world.

Simon - I salute you.

Full rant >> http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/blogs/blog-on-the-tracks/8952155/The-X-cruciating-factor

Asiana fake pilot names

Apologies to the grieving families and friends, but I have to admit that this story had me in stitches.

US television station KTVU approached the NTSB (National Transportation Transport Board) and asked them to confirm the names of the pilots in the ill-fated plane which crash landed in San Francisco.

According to the NTSB, a 'summer intern' exceeded their authority in confirming the names to the TV station.

The names were duly read out live on air.

(Source: YouTube, KTVU)

Setting aside the racial element, the really funny thing is that the fake names are in 

ascending order of panic you might expect in the cockpit immediately prior to the crash.

I'd like to find the person responsible for this little gem and shake them by the hand.  It's an awesome bit of comedy.

Want to know the really, really, REALLY funny thing?  The airline is planning to sue the TV station.  Claiming ...

"We decided to sue KTVU because Asiana Airlines thinks their news defames our pilots and our company's reputation," Kiwon Suh, an Asiana spokesman, said.

Surely that should be spokeman We Su Yu As?  

Of course the Asiana pilots didn't manage to dent their companies reputation by crash landing the plane did they?

Give it up Asiana.  All you'll reap is more comedy at your expense.

Zombie Newsflash - they're dangerous!

I like a laugh.  Especially when it concerns Zombies.  So I had to re-post the following article from stuff.co.nz.

Zombie injury bill scary stuff

Zombies and vampires may be popular in Hollywood, but their supernatural antics should come with a warning after ghostly injuries cost ACC almost $25,000 in the past five years.

ACC claims figures show the agency paid out $24,834 to more than 20 people between 2008 and 2012 for ghost, vampire and zombie-related accidents.

Explanations for the paranormal injuries varied.

They included crashing into a pole while playing zombies at school, accidentally put arm through window telling a ghost story, hit head crawling under bed to find ghost, fell off stage during ghost tour, bumped into dishwasher playing ghost tag, banged forehead on door frame wearing a blanket pretending to be a ghost and knocked over by a vampire.

Most of the money was paid out in 2010, where six claimants received varying shares of $20,696.

An ACC spokeswoman said many of the unearthly injuries were the result of preventable accidents.

"The safest place in your house for a zombie is the living room," she said.

- © Fairfax NZ News

Zombies are dangerous.  Who would have thought?

(image - americablog.com)

Braaaaiiinnnnnnnnsssssss.....

Nick Smith - so close and yet so far....

Conservation Minister Nick Smith pushed all the right buttons when he declined the Milford Dart tunnel project through conservation land.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/8930108/Final-call-on-Milford-Tunnel-due

In his decision released yesterday, Smith explained that the $180 million project to link the Fiordland and Mt Aspiring National Parks via tunnel was "beyond what was appropriate for a World Heritage Area".

It's virtually unthinkable for a Minister of the National government to place environmental concerns ahead of profits and jobs. Applause all round I would say.

Unfortunately Smith has undone much of the good work with this little bombshell released later the same day:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/8934809/Nick-Smith-backs-1080-call

That's right our conservation Minister backs the plan to use more 1080.  He is OK with pouring more of this incredibly toxic crap all over the pristine countryside he wants so much to protect.

*sigh*

So it's one step forwards, and one back it seems.

(image - stuff.co.nz)

That's right Nick.  You were that close to gaining a great deal of support for your conservation stance.

Apple - rotten to the core

The market darling Apple company has been found guilty of price fixing of ebooks in collusion with five major publishers.

The publishers (Hachette Book Group, MacMillan, HarperCollins, Penguin Group and Simon & Schuster) settled out of court, leaving Apple to face the wrath of Judge Denise Cote.

In her ruling, US District Court Judge Cote said...

"The plaintiffs have shown that the publisher defendants conspired with each other to eliminate retail price competition in order to raise e-book prices, and that Apple played a central role in facilitating and executing that conspiracy.  Without Apple's orchestration of this conspiracy, it would not have succeeded as it did in the spring of 2010."

Apple have released a statement since the ruling asserting their innocence - even though their co-conspiritors have already cut and run...

"Apple did not conspire to fix ebook pricing and we will continue to fight against these false accusations. When we introduced the iBookstore in 2010, we gave customers more choice, injecting much needed innovation and competition into the market, breaking Amazon's monopolistic grip on the publishing industry. We've done nothing wrong and we will appeal the judge's decision."

Obviously a case of a rotten Apple.

Best headline (Christchurch Press) "Judge throws ebook at Apple"

More >>

Story on techcrunch.com

More detail at guardian.co.uk

Photo caption?

Found this photo and caption in this weeks edition of the Central South Island Farmer newspaper.

According to the caption, Scott Pearson "draws in roadside shingle".  Remarkably accurate, but why not:

 "..utilizes a local, natural resource to render a representation of regional topography in micro scale."

Much better.  Politicians & Management would appreciate the difference I'm sure.

Bye bye iPod Shuffle

Accidentally put my iPod Shuffle through the washing machine. It's dead.  "Bereft of life it rests in peace..."

Kids: Don't try this at home.

On the up-side, I get to delete iTunes from my PC!

Alistair Griffin - Albion Sky

This album is also on high rotation through my MP3 player.

Alistair has a brilliant voice and a clean fresh sound.  The entire Albion Sky album is worth listening to.

Favorite tracks are this one (Always No. 1) and the title track.

If you like music where the vocals are more important than the gyrations then you might like this.

Mysteria - Chasing the Divine

I've become hooked on the album Chasing the Divine by Mysteria.

The music is emotive, a bit New Age and possible even able to be described as esoteric.  It's reflective stuff with a heavy symbolism in the lyrics and quite beautiful accompanying music.

If you're a fan on Enigma you'll likely enjoy this.

Bought the CD from Wow HD - because foolishly Amazon refuse to send music to New Zealand.  How strange.

Pita Sharples - Zombification

As promised...

(image - odt.co.nz)

Tickle me, Elmo.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv/8866726/Lawsuits-against-Elmo-actor-thrown-out

The headline says it all really....

Pita Sharples - dead?

I like Pita Sharples.

He's a man of principles.  Integrity.  Honor.  What Maori would call 'Mana'.  A statesman.  Someone we can trust.  I'm sure that Pita would be fun to be around.  His genial smile and infectious good humor make him someone I would probably like a great deal.

It's a shame then, that he must have passed away recently.

I say this because he resigned from the Maori Party co-leadership on Tuesday of this week.  Yet previously, Pita was quoted as saying that he would "lead (the party) until I'm dead".

Based on that quote, he must have died.  What a shame.

How then does a part-time blogger explain his current state?  Ambling around and holding press conferences?  You guessed it - he has to be a....ZOMBIE!

Zombification image to follow.  Stay tuned....

Telling it like it is..

... I hope he rots in hell.

Retired Poughkeepsie Detective Captain Charles Mittelstaedt, about James Nichols on the discovery of the remains of James' missing wife JoAnn Nichols.

(image - Poughkeepsie Police Department)

JoAnn went missing in 1985.

Her body was found behind a false wall inside the family home following the recent death of James.

A forensic report indicates she died from a blow to the skull.

Full story on stuff.co.nz 

Confirming what we already know - Bieber is uncool

Justin Bieber you are probably the un-coolest person I can think of in the universe 

I like this quote from Andrew Porteous over on Stuff (http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff-nation/assignments/share-your-news-and-views/8862957/How-Justin-Bieber-ruined-tattoos)

Andrew laments the loss of cool because Bieber treats tattooing as a fad.  Among Biebers other crimes are driving a leopard print car and a Segway.

Tide seems to be turning against the plastic fantastic (as I like to refer to him - the title seems apt now that MJ is gone).  His manufactured persona and the instantly forgettable "songs" irk me to the core.

Andrew signs off the article with this:

For the sake of everyone out there Bieber, stop getting ink. Return tattoos to the realm of the cool, the drunk and the brave.

Amen!